| just because... |
[Wednesday
May 23rd, 2007
6:21pm] |
havent used this thing in foreverrr...
but I LOVELOVELOVE Steve Rourke, so I updated for him.
<3 =D
|
|
| S n o w d a y |
[Friday
December 9th, 2005
7:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
Have you ever missed someone so much, it hurts?
Have you ever wanted to go back to when everything seemed okay?
Have you ever wondered where you'll be in 10 years?
Have you ever wanted to shake someone and tell them how much you care about them, even if you know they don't give a shit about you?
Have you ever wanted to throw away everything and start over?
have you ever wanted to just get away, to see what the world was like?
Have you ever stayed up staring at the ceiling thinking about your life?
Have you ever been extremely bitter about life?
Have you ever wanted pure happiness more than anything?
I have. I do.
|
|
| so hard. |
[Monday
November 7th, 2005
5:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sad |
] |
I remember every moment of that day.
It's so hard.
i love you Uncle Al.
<3 RIP
November 7, 2004 - the day God took an angel and placed him in Heaven.
|
|
| i love you girls. |
[Saturday
October 29th, 2005
10:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
Competition
So the bus ride was amazing. So much fun. Took lots of pics with the girls & they gave me their personal gifts then part of the team gift. I got a million letters that made me cry. A box with a "D" on it and the team picture on the front & then a frame w/ a "D" on it with a pic of two of my girls. That was wicked cute. They made me two posters. And the team pitched in and bought me a $50 gift certificate to the mall. It was very sweet and made me cry. These girls are amazing, all of them are like my little sisters.
Then we got there, just in time for the morning session awards. PAL placed for every devision, which was pretty awesome seeing as they just started out. Jr. Pee Wees took 3rd and Pee Wees took 1st. Awesome job girls, congratulations & good luck at Regionals. This year top 4 placed, so we went into our afternoon session with a pretty positive attitude ...
Warm ups were pretty good. The girls were excited and ready. They wanted it. My nerves were really high. I was shaking all afternoon. But finally we performed and it was the best performance overall that I've seen from the girls. I figured, we atleast got fourth. So we went back to the stands & ate lunch. Then all the teams had performed, so we all went down on the floor and danced and took pics while the judges calculated the scores. The girls presented me with another gift. A fleece blanket w/ all of their names embroidered on it. Beautiful. I squirted some, not gonna lie. Then we went back to dancing. But finally the scores were in. We held hands. I couldn't even look at the girls. First they did the Coach of the Year for each level and Evelyn, our coach, won. We were so happy. It was awesome. She truly deserved that one. Then it came to our division. There was a tie for 4th -- not us. Third -- not us. 2nd - not us. 1st - not us. It was instant tears for everyone. The girls completely broke down. Every girl was bawling their eyes out. I tried to keep strong, but I lost it. I glanced at Tracey, an asst coach & she was crying. I lost it. I was hugging the girls and telling them how proud i was. They didn't deserve 7th place ... they were amazing. Those judges are ridiculous. No team unity my ass. Wtf does that mean? We stayed on the floor for a good 25 mins just crying. Evelyn brought the devasted girls in for a team hug. She went to try and express how proud she was to try and bring the spirits up, but she couldn't speak. She broke down -- & she had been strong all along. It was the hardest thing to do, to look at my girls and see how upset they were. They kept giving me hugs and just sobbed on my shoulder. I kept telling them they did great and there's always next year. It didn't really hit me until one girl said "...but you won't be here." I really lost it then. Then, as the arena emptied out, Eve 6 "Here's to the Nights" came on...worst timing ever. I had just stopped crying. As soon as that started I bawled. I just stood in the middle of the girls and bawled. I am going to miss these girls so fricken much. For the past two years I've spent 8 months out of 24 with them. I've spent 15+ hours a week with them. They are like my little sisters.
Tonight truly broke my heart. But these girls are amazing. They are absolutely wonderful. I'll remember them forever & always. They are my life.
<3
Congratulations to all the teams that placed, you girls deserve it. Good luck @ Regionals.
|
|
| Poem. |
[Wednesday
September 28th, 2005
9:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 content |
] |
Hey guys! For creative writing we had to write a poem about something "in the moment" that is fleeting. In other words, something that occurs but does not stay. She gave us examples like "the moon, the stars, etc." But I didn't want to take a natural spin on it. I decided to do my own thing and be creative. So, what better topic to pick then what I truly love & miss...summer.
So here you go. Dedicated to the ones that made summer '05 the best
One Last Summer Night
The setting sun explodes in the warm sky,
As night falls on the humid day.
Friends gather in the park to say good-bye,
The cool grass tickles their backs as they lay.
Looking up to the starry blanket above,
They let out a big sigh and begin to reminisce.
Of laughing and singing with the ones they love,
The days and memories were such sweet bliss.
As the night grows darker and the air cools down,
The trees softly sway in the gentle breeze.
Silently, they sit and listen to the sounds,
For that split second, they wish they could make time freeze.
Finally, the clock strikes twelve and they remember where they are,
They glance at the ground and blink back the tears.
Looking up to the faces of their best friends by far,
Without saying a word, they all face their greatest fears.
One last final hug and kiss,
A smile with tears in their eyes.
“Good luck” and “have fun” is all they can wish,
On that last summer night, they say their goodbyes.
<33 i love you & miss you college boys.
|
|
|
[Monday
September 26th, 2005
6:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
I fucked everything up & I'm sorry.
|
|
|
[Saturday
September 24th, 2005
10:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
uncomfortable |
] |
Letting go.
|
|
| hmm. |
[Saturday
September 24th, 2005
10:36am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
drained |
] |
Let's recap.
This week was pretty well...idk. Stressful? For the first time I'm actually starting to stress about college. I got my transcripts & I am not happy w/ my rank/GPA. I thought it was higher, and apparently so did everyone else? But I'm not so sure. If it's wrong, then thank god. But if not...then yikes! I am going to UCONN tomorrow for open-house. I am so excited (minus the fact that I have to wake up at 4:30 to go.) UCONN is my number one choice. I know everyone is like "but you haven't looked anywhere else" -- okay so I haven't visited anywhere else. I plan to, but with UCONN it was just like "wow, this feels so right" ya know? I wanna go to Sacred Heart, Holy Cross, some MASS colleges - haven't narrowed it down yet... and of course UCONN. I've come to the conclusion though that my parents could careless whether I went to college or not. They didn't go. My brother didn't go (fire academy). So why should I? That's just more money they ahve to "waste." They haven't been pushing me to look into colleges or even been all for doing visits. I had to beg my dad for a month to take tomorrow off to go to UCONN for open house. They do not understand that this is a process and that it is important that I pick the school that will make me HAPPY. They aren't worried about me being happy, they are worried about having to spend money. It's going to be paid for through student loans...loands that I will be paying back so whatever. I'm just fed up w/ being told what I CAN'T do and what i WON'T do. For once I just want them to support my decisions.
As far as cheerleading goes. Competition is October 29th. I'm nervous. Really nervous. We had a really good practice this morning, the first one in like weeks. So hopefully it will be consistent and we can bam out a solid routine.
We'll see.
Bye for now.
<3
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
beautiful_xsoul's journal
stressed